NeoGAF Apocalypse

AranhaHunter:
"I guarantee the guy that's gonna win the constanza raffle will be djblackice or crazybros, i.e. someone who already has the beta and is just trying to be greedy."

djblackice:
"Dude, do you ever stop fucking crying? Jesus christ. I didn't even enter his raffle.

Get off your fucking emo trip and get a grip. I've received more than one beta code, is it my fault I won a contest here, and two sign ups on different sites? Hell, I even gave TWO of those away. That means I used one.

Fucking unbelievable. You can't be over 12, there's no way. Quit with the female stained PMS induced bout of passive aggresive bullshit and sack the fuck up.

Someone post the Dawson's Creek crying.gif for this fucknut, and tell him to get off my jock."


I'm a little ashamed to admit that I've spent the better part of my free time today stalking the NeoGAF forums, searching for my very own LittleBigPlanet beta key (a total clusterfuck, by the way). While my little, pathetic nerd quest crashed, sank, and then burned, I've found some things that might just be as entertaining as any hastily remade Mario level.

When faced with limited beta keys, internet nerds get their guns and horde their canned vegetables.

NeoGAF members are out for blood. What started out as a community effort to get everyone possible playing and sharing together quickly turned into a dog kennel brawl over the last chicken bone. Here's how it went down:

- Kind-hearted Gaffers take it upon themselves to begin organizing a list of all the board members who want a key. As soon as keys start rolling in, the first person in the list gets a code, then the second, and so on.

- More people than expected want in. The NeoGAF elite decide to lock the list down at 100. Peasants are disheartened and there's some unrest in the crowd.

- People start receiving codes and everyone is excited. However, the list isn't dwindling.

- Forum members lucky enough to have been given multiple codes start holding their own impromptu contests. One anime avatar asks that people post a list of their three favorite games so he can give his spare code to the groveler who pleases him the most. Lists are so hastily constructed that one guy leaves his caps lock on while he writes sUPER mARIO gALAXY.

- Nobody remembers the 100 member list.

- Greedy gafers start making a list of demands. "For my extra beta key, I'll accept a digital copy of Burnout Paradise".

- Rumors arise that some members are taking their shiny new codes to sell on ebay or trading them up for even better goods (as I write this, some guy is giving out a copy of CoD4 in exchange for a week of LBP). Desperate, angry internet nerds let the insults fly and the witch hunt begins.


So this is where we are now. The gaf meltdown is in full-swing and there's blood in the thread. At this rate, the only levels that will be shared on Gaf at LBP's release will be big blocks of "FUCK YOU" spelled out in penis bricks.